I've had 6 hours to think about you while driving back

The hypnotic hum of the road making me slip into my mind

To find each moment spent with you over the past 17 hours

And relive them through my VHS mind; pausing, rewinding

Finding everytime that I lost myself in the depths of your eyes

I break down the time we spent together into minutes: 1020

To make it seem longer, but knowing that it was still too short

I mean, 61,200 seconds isn't enough time for me to hold you

You'd asked me if I had any regrets, and I suppose that I have to say yes

I regret not staying, I regret not taking you with me when I left

I regret all the times that I wasn't there before now when I wanted to be

Looking into your eyes was almost unreal, like looking into a mirror

Your pain reflected mine, I could almost watch your thoughts as they happened

They were hypnotic, holding me with their power and amazing beauty

You've once again given me equanimity, but I need a constant diet of you

The day we spent together gave me a taste of something I want more of

I just feel like I spent 6 hours driving in the wrong direction to come home

Because, in my mind's eye, I just left the first thing that felt like home in three years

Just to return to an empty bed, with a still-full heart and no you to share it with

I'm tempted to just turn right back around and drive to you, but for one problem

My regrets are whimsical, because I don't regret a thing, but is it the same for you?

I saw the pain plainly between sessions of incredible lovemaking when you had second thoughts

Only to fall into another hour of flesh on flesh, nails scratching backs

Into kisses, moans, and the heat of our bodies intertwined in passionate embrace

And then, it would come again after the after glow, like clouds before a storm

It would come again to pull your thoughts into a frenzy of contradictions

I could almost hear them, they screamed so loudly in your deep and complex eyes:

"Why did I let myself do this? Why didn't I let myself do this before?"

"Why do I feel like such a whore? This shouldn't feel this good after so long with only one other"

"I don't want to hurt David.... I don't want to have feelings for anyone"...

So, I just listen by watching your eyes and let your work it out while stroking your hair

I know the pain of change very well, but I also know the flavor of regret

So, I drive away from what I know to feel like home to the place I call home

Imagining you enwrapped once again in my arms, singing softly to each other:

"I'm on the outside,

I'm lookin' in

I can see through you

See your true colors

And inside you're ugly,

Ugly like me...

I can see through you

See the real you..."

And let the tears fall freely as the miles fall away behind me

Wishing for one moment more in your arms before my long drive home

-David "Dingo" Bleecher