Playboy, Hustler, Penthouse, Big Ass & Little Tits

About them all I could give two shits.

They're as cheap as a Motel 6 while I'm lookin' for the Ritz

When I look at Asian women, I'm in heaven;

Porcelain skin, demure grin, subtle chin

And an easy name to remeber like Yin

Other women stumble where they glide

Small steps make their movements a smooth ride

Seeming not to abide by the laws of gravity

All adding to my depravity just by walking before me

Easily being my favorite epiphany

Asian women put all other types to shame,

Like they're no longer in the game,

When I see them, I'm like an animal untamed:

Godamn, they drive me insane!

Their skin shows no viens,

Perfect when the light waxes and when it wanes,

So beautiful, never plain,

The need to hold one is a constant pain my mind never refrains

From slapping me with again and again

I told my mom when I was nine

That I would find one to define

As wife, and since then the need's been a knife

Stabbing repeatedly into my everyday life

Filling it with unnecessary, self-inflicted strife

The problem is that every time I try to make one mine

No matter how smooth, sensuous, and kind

I approach, I get wide eyes directed at me like Kafka's roach

Like I'm encroaching on land not my own and trying to poach

They run from me like I was Godzilla

Or like when Michael Jackson transformed in Thriller

Do I look like a serial killer?

Well, come to think of it, maybe I do

But aren't there Asian women into that too?

I think I'd want me if I were in their shoes

Maybe I wouldn't be my first pick of available dick

If I were an Asian chick, I'd probably go after Asian lesbian licks

Now that I think about it.

But, I'm still obsessed, I feel overly repressed

They're on my mind and I can't give it a rest,

My heart beats faster in my chest,

Every time I see one, I feel blessed

And Damned at the same time,

For not being the kind of man that they find fine.

So I'll pine from a distance, watching them shine

With that ethereal ivory shine

That defines their delicate features' lines.

-David "Dingo" Bleecher